Friday, May 7, 2010

Tulip Time Ride Report

So, the day dawned, 70 and sunny as had been forecast. A glance at the radar revealed a rather substantial amount of 70 and sunny was occurring in the Holland area, and some light 70 and sunny occurring in the Grand Haven area. This may have explained the very large initial turnout for the ride, which, including me, totaled 1 person. Now, I had heard from Tom Miller, who was dealing with his THIRD flat tire in two miles, and figured we might accumulate some additional throngs of people when the one of us made it down to Tom's house.

So, we got myself organized and toodled through Grand Haven, getting 70 and sunnied on the whole time. I found a huge throng of people, consisting of, including Tom, Tom. So, tire dealt with, Tom and I and the peloton, which had grown to, including Tom and I, 2 people, continued south. The light drizzle continued. Er, I mean, 70 and sunny. With some breeze. Out of the southeast, so it was a bit of negative tailwind.

Anywho, we continued south, and the light 70 and sunny got kinda hard, and kinda, y'know, horizontal, on account of the breeze getting more assertive. It was kinda Killingtonish, right down to the road grit accumulating pretty much everywhere. Only not as warm. A left, two rights, and a couple of shakes later, we were warming up with Berger and Aaron and a pot of coffee. And no carnie food for us, no sirreebob, we went to 84 East Pasta for some of the best hot soup I've ever had.

Finally warmed up, but still quite saturated with all the 70 and sunny we had soaked up, we cruised north. It was much drier, much faster, and much, well, generally less craptalicious. Tom peeled off a bit north of his house, and I moseyed on back to Spring Lake (with a detour to go up 5 Milf Hill a couple of times).

Now, the important part - the awarding of the Hardcore Points. After much careful theorizing, Coach Mike and I have come up with the following equation:

Distance X (|Avg. Temp-74|) X WindSpeed/Number of Riders

Then, after more theorizing, we decided that was silly, and we would simply follow USA cycling's Hardcore Points guidelines. It's in one of the subsections.

So, after a certain amount of consultation, and after watching Pulp Fiction on AMC, I have decided that Tom Miller is to be awarded the sum of twenty-one (21) hardcore points for riding in the 70 and sunny 46 and driving rain conditions AFTER getting 3 flat tires.


Katie said...

That must have been hard to write.

You are crazy. Of course, as I write this, you are out sitting in the "70 & sunny" downtown GR watching a bunch of crazy people run (including your wife).

Congrats to you & Tom on hard core points. I'm going to work on accumulating negative hc points.

did said...

Nah, I stayed home. One day in the 46 and rain is enough.